Home » Ep 79: How to Increase Your Confidence to Step Into Your CEO Role Transcript

Ep 79: How to Increase Your Confidence to Step Into Your CEO Role Transcript

Hello everyone! Judy Weber here, your Christian business coach. Hello to those of you here with me on Instagram, and hello to you ladies here on my Facebook page. Today we’re talking about confidence, confidence. How confident are you? I would love it. If you would take a moment and tell me on a scale of one to 10 whether you are here with me live, or on the replay, I want to know, How confident are you? Where would you put yourself on a scale of one to 10 Hey, Luciana. Hello. So how confident are we ladies? And it’s funny. Today we’re going to talk about what confidence is and what it isn’t. Um, you know, where does it come from? And how can we get more? Can we get more? Or are we just born with confidence?

So I’m really excited to bring you this talk. And, you know, this morning, I spent the entire morning talking with powerhouse ladies who are making six figures and plus write some multi six figures. And I have to tell you, that I guess I was a little bit surprised, but not really. Because I know women. I mean, you know, I love women I hang out with you all the time. Do you? Would you be surprised to know that some women who are super, super successful or not that much more confident than we are? I mean, they’re they are they project confidence, but in the insides of their own minds, they struggle. So I hope that you take some comfort in that. So before we really dive in, let’s go to God in prayer and ask for his anointing on our time together. All right. Heavenly Father, thank You, Lord, that it’s another Friday. And we get to come together to talk about women’s issues, women’s, you know, business issues, it all relates both personal and business. So Lord, we just ask that you are here with us. Because we know that you have the solution to any and every problem. You knew the solution before it was even a problem. And so we look to you, Lord, for your wisdom. Please impart that on us. Help us to know how to think right about ourselves as your creations Lord, and help us always keep our eyes focused on you. Because when we do that, just like Peter, we’re able to walk on the water. We love you, God, we trust you and in the name of your son, our Lord Jesus Christ we pray, Amen. Amen. All right, so who’s here today? Tell me where are you at Pamela’s here.
Luciana says she’s seven ish.

Okay, I need to know where are you in the confidence. We’re all between one and 10. Okay, so I want you to think about someone that you think is confident. Maybe it’s somebody that you follow on social media. And just think of that person. And you might even want to, you know, tell me who that is? Is it Rachel Hollis? Is it Jenna Kutcher? Is it some movie star or some singer? Something? Maybe Beyonce, you don’t be interesting. Maybe Oprah would be really interesting. If we could talk to be off, say, or Oprah if say hi. Hi, there. beautiful, amazing, powerful lady. How confident are you? I would love to know kind of what their answer would be. And I suspect that neither one of them would be attend. I really don’t think it would be a 10.

But I want you to think about a confident person, someone you admire. And you know, think about why do you think they’re Why do you Why do you admire them? And it’s probably because they are confident. Right? And and how do you show confidence? It’s how you speak? And how you carry yourself? And how you look? Right? Are you pulled together or disheveled? Right? I mean, some people’s pulled together look would be like pink and purple hair and a funky outfit. Well, that’s still pulled together for them. Right? So when I say put together, it doesn’t mean you know, in some glamour shot, right? But they’re confident, they seem assured of who they are. And they’re good with that. Right? They’re good in their own skin. So, um, you know, on this idea of confidence in the girls guide, real estate group on Facebook, I a couple of months ago, posed this question.

And the question was, give me your number of one to 10. And I just want to read some of these comments and see if they resonate with you. Okay. So Carolina, said, and by the way, I broke it down personal and business, and a vast majority felt more confident in their personal life than in their business life. And where do you fall on that? Because for me, I am much more confident in the business world than I am in my personal life. I think it has to do with my my background and struggles and relationships and things like that. So it’s interesting, right? Because most women said they’re much more confident in their personal life and their business life. But Karolina says, I don’t feel as confident in my business life because I feel like things are out of control. Like I don’t have control over what happens in my business. Okay. Jenny said she was one of the rare ones that had more confidence in her in her business than in her personal life. And she said the reason for that was she she can’t get the work life balance thing, right.

She said that kind of made her feel less confident in her personal No life, Morgan said that she lacked growth and acceptance about who she was as a business owner. So I thought that was interesting. So she’s kind of a newer entrepreneur. And she said, there are too many unknowns. And that’s why I gave myself a six instead of a 10. Martha said, I give myself a six in business, because I second guess, myself. I guess she said, somehow I point out everything I’ve done wrong in business. And I don’t really see what I’ve done right? Can you relate to any of these ladies? I saw Sarah, thank you for the love there. I’m curious. This is resonating with anybody. Because I pulled some that seemed to be, you know, keep coming up again. And again. Now I love Tanya, Tanya gave herself an eight in business. She said, I have a lot to learn. But I still give myself an eight. So Bravo to you, bravo to you. And she gave herself a nine. And she says, because I’m freaking amazing.
So I think that’s great.

Hey, Amber. Hi, there. Everyone watching on Instagram. Good to have you here. All right. So what else do I want to say, Jennifer, she gave herself a seven or eight in both. And she said, I second guess myself. And I’m an introvert, I tend to be shy. So that kind of impacts her confidence. And Lindsay says, she gave herself a five, which I’m sure you’re too hard on yourself. And she said, I put too much pressure on myself too much pressure on myself. So that’s interesting. How confident are you? It doesn’t matter, like, like, I’m very confident as a mom, but as a woman, like not so much because of relationships with men that I’ve had in the past. Like I say, I’m a very strong, confident woman in business. You know, and I think that’s from lawyering and dealing with in a men’s world. And I didn’t always feel that way. I can tell you that. But what is confidence? How would you define confidence, I define it as a feeling of certainty, that you can do anything, a feeling of certainty that you can do anything. And ladies, I think that we as women, hold ourselves in such high regard, that if we don’t know everything, and maybe if we haven’t been doing something forever, we just have this sneaking, feeling, you know, this thought that I’m lacking. I’m not as competent as I should be. Right. But that’s in your own mind.

Because this morning, as I mentioned, I was talking to a bunch of powerhouse ladies who are making six figures, multi six figures. And even they say, you know, well, you know, I I’m a projected I’m confident and I see that in others. But you know, when I get alone with myself, there are definite issues that kind of bring me down or make me feel less than confident. So I just think that’s kind of crazy, right?
Why is it that we as women are so darn hard on ourselves, we don’t give ourselves the grace that we so freely give others. And that is a major thing of what I want to put forth for my clients and my students. And for you beautiful ladies watching. You got to give yourself more grace, right? You can’t speak to yourself worse than you would allow someone to speak to somebody else. Okay. But for me, so many times you have gurus out there talking about self confidence, hay jam, and self confidence. You know, to me, that’s an oxymoron. Okay, because I am not going to get my confidence from little old me, okay, because I know that I’m a creation, and the Creator is perfect. And he made me just as I am. So to me, ladies, and I don’t know that you would ever hear it put this way.

But this is what I firmly believe. I believe that confidence comes from us knowing who we are in Christ. And appreciating that the talents and the gifts and the passions and the drive that we have this ambition to start businesses and to do big things in the world and impact people and serve people. You know, that is a gift from God. And so today, you may have seen I posted where much is given, much as expected. It’s in the book of Luke and Jesus said that. So, ladies, we have to take a step back and stop putting so much pressure on ourselves. Okay, it’s not, it’s not really about you, okay, you ended up yourself. It’s not really about that. Because anything that’s great about you. Anything that’s worthwhile about you, really comes from God. Can I get an amen on that? So when we stop saying, I’m less than or I’m not enough, realize that what you’re doing is you’re kind of putting God down saying you messed up, right? Instead of leaving in to all that you are, and trusting that word God kind of Put you and gives you this ambition to do things.

He’s absolutely going to equip you. Okay? So some of my other thoughts are, you know, if you’re like most women, you are loving and caring and compassionate. I mean, these powerhouse ladies I talked to this morning, it was such a blessing. Oh, my goodness. And they all said, it’s not about the money. The money has come. But I put my clients first. I mean, loving, compassionate, caring, right? Most women and probably you are determined and smart, right? You’re really smart. God gifted you with a good brain. And you use it right? You’re also committed to serving others. There’s that hard again, and you have high standards. And I think when you have that all together, that is where we kind of get a little bit mucked up and say, Well, I’m not confident because yeah, but I’m not doing what she’s doing. And, and he’s doing that, and they’re doing this and we look around and we compare, and then that brings down our confidence when really, we just have to know who we are in Christ. And acknowledge and thank him for those gifts and talents and abilities and then use them because that’s our obligation. That’s what Jesus meant. In Luke, I think it’s 1428. What he said were much is given much as expected, okay. And by the way, confidence can be improved, you can increase your confidence. Now, how are we going to do that?

Oh, my goodness, well, you know, some of the worldly ways of doing that. It really made me sick. Okay. And I’m going to say this, then I want to pause and look at some of the comments, but some of the so called gurus out there with confidence. They say hypnosis and hypnotherapy. Okay, that’s what they say. You’re going to gain confidence. Okay, so fake yourself out that you’re awesome or something? I don’t know. How about this guided meditations? You know, hum, hum. Now, I don’t think it’s going to do it ladies, or it might for a moment, but but what what is it based on? You see everything I do? There’s a foundation to everything you’re doing?
What’s your foundation?

What What are you standing on? Right? So the foundation of my confidence has nothing to do with me. It has to do with who God made me. It’s all about him. So, you know, hypnotherapy isn’t going to change that if it’s built on nothing if it’s built on sand. Okay, these guided meditations, I don’t even know what that means. I’m not going to keep telling myself You’re amazing. You’re amazing. You’re amazing. And then I’m going to believe that one day, what is the fact that if I say that’s true, I am amazing. What is it based on? Well, I’m amazing, because God made me and he said, I’m wonderfully and perfectly made. Boom, there you go. There’s the answer. Okay, you don’t have to fake yourself out with mantras. Okay, how about this crystals? I’m going to pick up. This is not a crystal, it’s my sky cam to help me get over my goal. But here I’m going to hold this crystal. And if it’s the right color, that’s gonna make me feel better. Ladies, are we glare we have Christ instead of this crazy nonsense, right? Whoo. All right, who’s feeling it? All right, I got to take a break. Now that’s kind of making me die. Okay, now we know that is ridiculous. Okay. I’m sorry that you feel that way. But God says you’re much closer to attend.

I know that. All right, and Sara is here. And Kate is here. Sarah says confidence seven in personal and maybe a five or six in business. And I’m curious, Sarah, is it because you are relatively new to the entrepreneurial space wondering. Alright, now when a new comment comes in, then I can’t do it. Okay. And what was this Jesus is the only way. Amen. Amen. And Sarah Jesus and the word Joanie. Hi, so glad you’re here. Did you get your present? What was that for my last challenge? I know that it seemed to be slowing coming. But hopefully you got it by now. All right, a couple of amens. All right chance here. And Christina is here. Beautiful. Okay. So are you feeling me now? Confidence. Don’t ever please don’t ever use the word self confidence. Because that’s confidence in yourself. I’m confident in who I am in Christ, who he made me to be. And I want to, I want to lean into all that he made me and go for it.

Okay, so just want to make sure Oh, what I’m talking about the fact that we can grow in our confidence. How are you doing hand up? Fair enough? I don’t know what Felicia, how are you? Hon. Good to see you here. You know, you can increase your confidence. And how can you do that? Number one, reading God’s word and pouring truth into yourself on who you are in Christ. Okay. In Christ we are more than conquerors. So what are we afraid of? Okay, he, Jesus didn’t say that in me. You are a conqueror. He said in me You are more than a conqueror. I don’t even know what that means. But I love it and I’m going to accept them. I grab it and hold on fast. Which is way better than holding on to a crystal It has no power at all. Are you feeling me? Okay? So but but how do you gain confidence? Besides all of that, okay? You gain confidence by taking action.
Because every success, no matter how great or small, gives you that feel good feeling. And I want you to kind of lean into that and know what that feels like and enjoy it.

And allow that to build your confidence. Okay, so what do I mean by that any, any success is a success. So if you’ve time blocked today, that you’re going to, you know, spend 15 minutes on a certain social media platform, and then get off it. Because you’re trying to be better about time blocking, and you actually did what you said you were going to do, yay, that’s a success, I want you to rebel. In that, I want you to pat yourself on the back and know that that is a success move. And think about this time I believe is our most precious resource. Money is not a lot of you think that money is your most precious resource, because you may like not have a lot of it. But let me tell you something, if you invest even a little bit of money into the right thing, you’re going to get that money back. But once you spend your time, whether it be good or bad, you will never get that time back. So if you are working on your time blocking, beautiful lady that is so important to your success as a thriving entrepreneur, it’s so important for you to become that thriving CEO that you want to be thank you for the love. So really revel in that, okay, if you are in the business like I am, if you’re a coach, okay, or if you’re a service provider, and part of what you do is jump on the phone with people, and you try to enroll them in your program or something.

All right, let’s say that you’ve had a call this morning, and you had a great conversation. But they didn’t say yes, they didn’t buy into your program, I want you to understand something, that’s a success. Okay, truly, because number one, you had the guts to do whatever you did, to have that person reach out to you big success, then you actually had a conversation schedule success, then they actually were on the phone with you success, because so many times people say they’re gonna, you know, be there when you call or they’re gonna call you and they don’t, that’s a big success. Do you have a beautiful conversation that you know, solidified a relationship, the beginning of a relationship, that’s a success. You never know what may happen next month, then, you know, the next six months, the next year, you know, business is not a get rich, quick scheme. It is a long term investment. So enjoy those successes.

And the more you see those little things because they’re not so little as successes, the more your confidence will be built. So confidence to me is number one, grounded in the Lord Jesus Christ, acknowledging his gifts and talents that he gave you, and using them to the fullest extent you can by His grace and seeking His wisdom. And also by taking action. Take action. If you fail, it’s okay. You know, I’ve been lately watching Grey’s Anatomy on Netflix. I’m hooked. Anybody here a Grey’s Anatomy fan? I am hooked. Oh, Sarah says yes. Big news. big role in her number of confidence. Hey, Bonnie, good to have you here. And so I was watching Grey’s Anatomy. And you know, it takes these doctors from internship all the way up to full fledged attending physician. And, you know, they’re just starting out as some of you may be just starting out in your business, right, or pivoting or whatever the case is.

But when they make a mistake, it costs big time. Not just with them, like, oops, I made a mistake, but with the health and welfare of a person. So they guard well better, be confident and know their stuff, confident and competent. Okay, that’s a big heavy burden. So let’s, let’s move back to you. Okay. So you may be afraid to pick up that phone and call someone. You may feel like you’re being pushy. When you go up to somebody in target or something, you just want to kind of start a conversation. But But why? Why are you not more confident to just do it? Because think about the worst that can happen. Someone doesn’t pick up the phone. Someone hangs up on you. That’s okay. You want it to love on them. You want it to give value you want it to you know, reach out in the case of the target person, hey, you know, you wanted to maybe reach out and and start a conversation and see if there could be relationship built. If someone knocks you down.

It’s not a big deal. So what are we afraid of um, One more thing on this, again, I was talking to about four or five powerhouse, six figure and multi six figure entrepreneurs this morning.
And one of them said, you know, people probably do look at we were talking about confidence. And she said, You know, people probably do look at me, you know, like, I’m some sort of role model a little bit. And then they think I’m confident, but I’m not. I mean, and then she said, I think that I portray to the world, more confidence than I feel. And, you know, that tends to be kind of what has been called the imposter syndrome, where you don’t quite feel good enough, or ready, or competent enough. Thank you for the love ladies, you know, or do you suffer from that? Do you suffer from imposter syndrome? Because one thing that I didn’t realize is that there are various levels have this imposter syndrome. And I don’t want you to suffer from that.

Because look, that is really something in your own mind. That truly is something in your own mind. What do I mean by that? Um, imposter syndrome is rooted in the belief that you’re inadequate, that you’re not enough. You feel like you need to know everything. But do you think that new doctor knows everything? That No, you can be practicing medicine for years, 510 years, and all of a sudden, something new pops up. So it’s not about knowing everything. So again, give yourself grace, give yourself grace. Um, there’s different levels, as I said, this imposter syndrome and I want to talk about two because there are two that I tend to suffer from and I think maybe some of you as well. The first is perfectionism. perfectionism. You want everything to be just right. Anybody here suffer from perfectionism? You want everything to be just right. And and you kind of like, don’t push the button, you don’t really take action unless you have it all down perfectly, right? You don’t call somebody? Unless you feel like you know exactly what you’re going to say at every possible instance. You’re not going to leave anything to chance. Right? But is that is that really good? I mean, Jesus came because we’re not perfect.

We needed him because he is perfect. He’s the only one that’s perfect. So again, why are we holding ourselves up to this perfect standard? Do you know that Oprah Winfrey is not perfect? And even even somebody you know, in the Christian faith, who you well respect, maybe it’s your pastor’s wife, maybe it is, you know, someone in your Bible study? No, buddy is perfect. So be okay with that. Okay. And the fact that you’re not perfect doesn’t make you an imposter. You don’t have to worry about being found out as a fraud. Okay, why? You may not know everything, but you care enough to find out the answer when you need when you need it. And you love on people and you serve. That’s more than enough. Okay, and the second thing is the Superwoman syndrome. And that’s totally me. And that doesn’t mean like, I think I’m powerful. And I’m Superwoman. What it means is that, you know, you given given, given, given given, given give, and you never want to admit that you need a break, you never want to admit that, you know, you can’t just keep going. Right? And it’s kind of a workaholic, right where you love your work. But are you really trying to avoid something else? Like there’s something going on? And so I’m a little bit like that, you know, I’m pivoting since a couple of months ago and so I really want to work to to build the business and to serve you beautiful ladies who come and are in my driven and equipped group and you ladies that have come with me on Friday.

Ladies, will you please commit with me to leave perfectionism? You know, just to the curb?
And stop trying to be Superwoman? You don’t need to be okay. You are perfectly and wonderfully made. If you really care about the clients that you’re serving. That’s it. That’s all you need. You’re good. Okay, Who’s with me? Who’s with me? Let me see what we got here. Mary says Hello, Mary. Confidence has been a huge difference in my business. Yes. Mary’s confidence. I’ve been working with Mary. She came confident, I think. But Wow, she’s off the charts. Now. She’s like, bring it on. Bring it on. All right, Sarah, Sarah’s raising her hand. She’s so cute. Okay, I’m gonna see what else I have before I go. Um, that’s it. That’s it. Oh, one other thing I wanted to talk about. As women of God, as women of the Lord Jesus Christ, what I think happens is that, you know, we’re told that we need to be humble. There’s a humility before God and somehow we allow like, I’m like, I’m humble, to translate into a lack of confidence or not feeling like you’re enough. But you see the humility before God is the right thing. It’s not just a humble person. I mean, you don’t want to think like you’re better than anybody else. But you’re humble before God, meaning that you know who he is and who you are. Right? Like, God is here. And you are here. That’s humility, in the right thinking, it is not right humility to say, I am a low, you know, piece of dirt. That’s not, that’s not the right way to look at yourself. Because that’s, that’s really putting God down, wait a minute, God made you, you are a beautiful daughter of the king. So get that. And you may not be perfect, but you don’t need to be. But he gave you everything that he wanted you to have. And he wants you to think right. And to use all of those gifts and talents that he gave you. And from that, you should feel very confident. And so if you’re loving on people, and if you’re praying, if you are praying for God’s wisdom, with respect to your business with respect to your confidence with Lord help me to write, to help me to think rightly, about who I am, and how best I can use everything that you gave me that is good, Lord, for the service of others,
right? God’s gonna answer that prayer.

And the more you think rightly, about who you are before God, and what he has done for you, and how he’s working in and through you, that’s going to build your confidence. So that even if you’re new in business, you’re going to approach this prospect with a smile, and with a certain stature, right, where you’re not arrogant at all. But you’re confident, because you know that what you don’t know is okay. Because you could find out the answer. But first and foremost, your your priorities are God. Doing my very best at everything I do, and loving on people. I mean, that’s what we’re called to do. So when you love people and really care on them, even through your business, no doubt, God’s going to bless it. So stand firm, stand, stand upright in that, and bring that type of confidence with you, wherever you go, okay? And when you start to feel less than this, look up and say, Lord, I don’t think I should feel this helped me to think right about me. I am enough in You, Lord, I am enough this tape that that’s true. In You, Lord, I am complete. In You, Lord, I have joy in You, Lord, I have peace in You, Lord, you know, in what is that? perfect love casts out all fear. And I think this lack of confidence, this uncertainty comes from a place of fear as well sometimes. So no fear. God tells us Do not fear, right? All these things come together. So as Christians, we don’t have to hold on to crystals. We don’t have to do. We don’t have to, you know, repeat nonsense, you know, to ourselves.

What we have to do is repeat the truth, the absolute truth of God’s Word to build us up in a real way that actually has a firm foundation. Okay, so before I go, any questions? And Sarah says, Yes, I commit to both. And I suffer from both. So do I. And I think it’s a work in progress. I really think we’re working progress. Hey, Joanne, good to see you. Hi, Laurie, good to see you here as well. All right, any questions on Instagram or Facebook, I could keep on going and keep on going. Because my heart is to love on you ladies, and to build you up and help you know that you don’t have to be perfect. And you could be brand new in your business, whether you’re a chiropractor, whether you own a brick and mortar, whether you’re a real estate agent, whether you know you’re a coach, whatever it is, you could be the first day in that job. And you still come with a smile, and a standing of uprightness. And knowing that you are enough, you have everything you need, because God made you and he doesn’t make mistakes. All right. All right, ladies, I don’t see any questions.

I love you. I would love to know your comments. What do you think about this idea of confidence? And do you think that this is something that you could use help in? Because I’m thinking I’m floating around the idea of maybe putting together some sort of confidence workshop or something. So what do you think about that? Would a confidence workshop be something that you would be interested in? And if you are, just brainstorm with me, what does that look like? I mean, obviously, we’re going to meet virtually, right.
Maybe we’ll get together live in 2020. I don’t know. But a conference workshop, but that’d be something you’d be interested in. Let me know.

Okay. And then the last thing I want to say is, have you nominated Alex ordinary woman. Look, I received, I think, almost 15 nominations, and so keep them coming. I am going to choose 50 to include in a book that I’m writing that’s going to be released in 2020. And it’s called she is extraordinary, inspiring stories of overcoming and triumph. Listen, you are extraordinary. I don’t care. I don’t care how smart you are. I don’t care kind of what your background is. Every woman is extraordinary in our hallway, in a roadway, and that is at why because God made you and he doesn’t make mistakes. Do you see a pattern here? And this isn’t just what Judy says, This is what God says. Right? And so I’m starting this movement. It’s hashtag she is extraordinary. And she is not me.

The she is all every every one of us. She is extraordinary. It is the name of my podcast. The first one’s going to come out later this month very soon. I I really want to hear about extraordinary women in your life. And it could be you, maybe it’s you. And a couple of you dominated yourself and I say kudos. Yay. Excellent. Realize that yes, you are extraordinary.

You are a you know, stay at home mom trying to build a do. I’ve been in business for five years, and now you’re starting to like branch off into something else or taking your business to a new level? Well, you’re extraordinary. You know, you’ve been in a business for 20 years. I don’t care what the business is that longevity proves you’re extraordinary. And I want to hear about you. Okay, so all right, ladies, I’ve got a run. I love you so much. I hope this was helpful. Let me know about that confidence workshop. Because I think when, when women can know when women come together and lift each other up.

Amazing things happen. And when we bring Christ into it, I mean, forget about it. Right? No crystals. It’s Christ. All right, ladies, love you so much. Well, I want to hear from you. I hope to hear from you very soon, if not today. Take good care. Enjoy the rest of your weekend. Bye.

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