Welcome to Episode 41 of the she’s extraordinary podcast. Ladies, this is a little bit different. I’m interviewing a competitor, huh? You might say really, Judy, another business coach, or too worried that, you know, if I choose a coach, I might choose her over you. Oh, beautiful. I am not worried at all. Not that your lawn does not fantastic because she is. She like me is dedicated to moving Christian female entrepreneurs forward in their business.
But Yolanda and I walk our talk. We know that God has hand selected clients to work with each of us. And so we’re all about collaboration over competition. You’re going to be hearing an interview that Yolanda and I were kind of interviewing each other because we knew that we were going to post this on our respective podcasts. Yolanda King is a confidence expert. And a business growth coach. She’s also the host of the confident Christian female entrepreneur podcast, focused on helping Christian women gain confidence skills and mindset to embrace their call to business and leadership.
So do you see how similar we are, in what we do? And in what we focus on, however, you’re going to hear very different backgrounds. You’re going to see how we do things differently. And we wanted to step out as leaders to show our clients and our listeners that you know, no need to fear God is in control. You are uniquely and wonderfully made perfectly imperfect, and your clients are waiting for you no one else. So enjoy this episode ladies, either beautiful Welcome to the sheet is extraordinary podcast, a call to women everywhere to dream again.
Boldly in faith, pursue your God given passion and live the abundant life you were meant to live. I’m your host, Judy Weber. I’m an entrepreneur, Christian, business coach, lawyer, speaker, and beach loving mom of six boys. I’m on a mission to help women like you realize your awesomeness to spur you on to greatness in both life and business. It’s time to make a big impact on the world. Because whether you know it or not, sister, you are extraordinary.
So, Judy, I think last time we were left speaking, we hit on so many good points that I think that I really want to recap on some of the stuff because I think there’s so many women need to hear messages of, you know, people who are in the same industry and do very similar things, how they could still work together because of their uniqueness. So I actually want to ask you a few questions. Okay. You’re absolutely right.
So I want to ask you what makes you unique and different?
Wow, what makes me unique and different? That is a great question. And I asked one of my clients all the time, and they go, I don’t know, until they work with me. And then they’re like, Oh, God, I didn’t realize that was something that mattered. So what makes me different? I am a unique combination of past work experience and life experience that I don’t think anybody else really has. Like, I was just talking with a client yesterday about this where I have this very creative side. I was a music Ed major in college. I don’t know if I told you that before. So I’m definitely like creative and I love decorating and design. My first business was as an interior decorator, so I love the creative side. But I’m also a lawyer. And so I’m very logical. I’m very strategic, you know, so it’s kind of a unique marriage of the left brain, right brain and also what makes me unique is
That I can be very serious minded like I’m a roll up my sleeves, get it done kind of coach. But I also love to have fun. So I was never one that was like stick in the mud stodgy like we’re going to get a lot of work, good work done, but we’re going to have fun.
So I would say those are kind of the hallmarks generally of what makes me different. And then what really makes me different, is something that you share, but a unique spin on it, which is, I’m all about women fully embracing who they are in Christ. Because that is when we come together as a whole person who we are in Christ and trust him and live into that. So all those things I think, is what makes me unique. That is really interesting. And you know, it really is unique when people have both like the whole creative side, and also just mesh it with the, you know, very, very structured and get down to the business side. So I guess if you were to think of what makes me different.
Right. There’s a lot of stuff but like you also life experiences I really do think that that’s a gift from God that He gives us.
You know and I talk all about about sometimes relationship building is not enough to connect with somebody, you have to be vulnerable and transparent and share this. God has gifted you. And so I definitely know that some of my stories are a gift from me from God, which makes me different, but I have the core of it my slight edge, I would say probably, um how do I say it? Like I feel like I make people feel comfortable and invite them in and really give hope and inspiration to women. And I and I like that about myself because I think one of my dreams is like to open up a nonprofit for rescuing human trafficking, human trafficking victims. So you know, that’s on my bucket list.
So definitely, yeah, I mean, if I haven’t known you that, well, that for long for long for long, Yolanda, but I would say if I had to say what makes you different to me, it’s that super soft heart combined with like a passion for helping women to really live into who they are. So that as an objective observer looking in, I see you.
Thank you. Thank you so much. Okay, so let’s hit on some, some points all about.
I want to ask you and then I’ll I’ll chime in afterwards. I want you to talk about a verse that you absolutely love. And that helps, has really helped you to embrace who God created and help you stay in your lane. Okay, well, my life first is a patient 320. Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all
We ask or imagine, according to His power at work in us, I mean, there’s just so much good there. I could talk on that for an hour. But I love it now to Christ who is able, right there. I can just pause and say, ah, hallelujah, he is able to do what? immeasurably more, we can’t even measure how much more he can do. It’s more than all we could ask or even imagine to ask for.
And here’s the here’s the real kicker, Yolanda? How does he do it? According to his power in us? Who might drop? I mean, so to me, it’s, it’s he’s equipped us, where he’s called us. He’s going to make sure that we’re, we’re up for it. And then when I say that, I often think of Moses, and when God called him to do mighty big work, he’s like, Whoa, you got the wrong guy, Lord, you got to just look somewhere else. And so, ladies listening. If you feel like you’re not ready, join the club. I’m not either and I bet Yolanda would say she’s not either right.
It’s so when you don’t feel ready, but you feel the desire to pursue your calling, and then you’ve identified your purpose, then know that you’re in great company with Moses, a great man of God, and you just move forward afraid, do it afraid by his power is so powerful. And it’s so true because I think at the end of the hour, one of the crutches for a lot of Christian female entrepreneur is they get bogged down from their thoughts.
You know, I mean, the thoughts weigh on them so much and i and i wish there was like a cure for that. But at the end of the hour, it’s really being grounded on God’s words.
And moving forward in that, um, you know, I mean, a my I’m very biased. I know that. But I was like, I want to see my fellow sisters succeed. Yeah, more than the secular world.
And that’s just the reality. You know, me we’re God’s daughters and everything. Yeah.
Yeah, I have a lot of favorite verses, but definitely would have to say right now at the top of mind, um
Philippians one, four, and it says he being confident in this, that he who began a good work, and you will continue it until the end. I’m like, that verse like, for the last three weeks, God has really been showing me this. And I share this because sometimes, like, let’s be honest, like, human beings sometimes look the other way. And seem like wow, they’re having success. Like, wow, that looks really cool. Like, I want to try that in my business. I want some of that to, like in it. It doesn’t even have to come from a space of like, envy, jealousy, but it’s like, I want that too. And then subconsciously, we do this kind of comparison thing.
Reality, you know, I mean, you need to stay in your lane, being confident and what God has started in you he will finish it to the end. But it’s going to look very different than what is then than the other person’s business because you are uniquely you. Right? Right. I mean the results I love that it’s going to look different in the results is going to look different on the path to get there.
Absolutely. When you were talking about wanting your sisters to succeed, I’m with you on that. I mean, I I always tell my clients look as Christians we should be the most joyfilled optimistic positive, you know, excited with hopeful expectation than anybody on the planet. We should not be fearing or rather I always say But yeah, we will fear but then we take courage we act even though we’re afraid.
So I love that. To your point about mindset. My favorite there is Philippians four eight. You know, whatever is a pure admirable lovely if anything is right, noble and true, if anything is excellent or praiseworthy. Have you picked on these things? And I tell my ladies if it’s not on that list then God doesn’t want you to think about it. So pick it out pick it out of your brain which is easier said than done, but
that’s awesome. So why do you think why do you think there’s such a scarce mindset within, even the online space let’s just it mean
we could like go on big picture like business owner malicious zone in a little bit. And let’s do online space. Why do you feel like there’s salt such a scarce mindset?
Really, first and foremost for us Christians we don’t we don’t really believe what we say we believe we don’t live into our faith like we should. And I don’t mean to be critical or judgmental because I could point that finger on myself. You know, when we we say on Sunday and we praise god you know, I love to worship I go crazy. You should it should fill me one day all but you know, you
Judy’s like David dancing in the streets like crazy lady.
But, you know, it’s like, if I really believe what I just said in Ephesians 320, then there’s nothing he can’t do. And so whether I’m having a great day or not so great day, I shouldn’t be worried about tomorrow and I shouldn’t be worried about my bank account if it’s dwindling. Like I should know that God can turn that around in an instant. So but but as far as like the practical side of it, I think that comparison thing. I’ve never met a woman
who, who thinks that she’s enough.
She is her own worst critic. I know much of myself too. I can point out 1000 flaws for you right now. Yolanda, how much time do you have? Both the way I look with things that I wish were different about me, you know, and so I think that comparison and looking around, you’re looking at somebody else’s best and you’re thinking about your worst so you’re always going to lose
So I think it stems from that a lot.
Okay, so I’m going to say something and you chime in I heard I recently heard and I probably heard it before. But I rehearsed this on a different podcast. I wish I could remember so I could give them the source and credit. But your business is only willing to grow to the extent that you are willing to heal. And the reason why I say that is because I don’t know about you. But when I started my entrepreneurship journey, I felt like things were starting to come up that I didn’t even know.
And I was like, what, where’s that coming from? And a lot of it stemmed from my childhood, you know, and I mean, to be completely vulnerable with you guys. I didn’t grow up with my mom and dad. You know what I mean? I grew up with family members from home to home. So subconsciously, I grew up with the, with a thought that I wasn’t worthy enough to have a home. So that unworthy
As followed me throughout high school, throughout college and then into my adult life. So, which has me, which had me really to sit down and journal out what was I fearful? And I thought I let go of so many things, but at the end of the hour, one of my fears is actually fear of success. And I find that very many Christians don’t even know that their fear of success.
Mm hmm. Yeah. Wow. Wow. I mean, isn’t it amazing how what happens to us in childhood sticks with us forever? I mean, we’ve got to deal with it. And it’s interesting I just a just before we hopped on, finished a podcast with one of my clients who is all about, you know, mindset coaching in a way of healing and how important that is to become whole in Christ. So it’s amazing. God’s telling me something at least today with the second idea of healing.
There’s no doubt about it. Yolanda, our business is an extension of ourselves. And so I often say this reality to my friends.
If there is something not right in your business, look in the mirror. Because it’s probably stemming from a mindset issue, or a stumbling block that you haven’t, you know, dealt with or you haven’t overcome yet by Christ.
And so yeah, that’s, that’s, that’s so true. Because I’ve also gone through that. And I see myself developing and becoming more and more powerful in my voice confident in my voice, and worrying less and less concerning myself less and less with what somebody else thinks about me. It’s not that I don’t want people to love me, I wish everybody would love me. I know that’s not gonna happen, for whatever reason, that’s just not life. But I I worry about that less and I liken it to trusting Christ more leaning into him and who I am in him and not worrying so much about what other people say.
Wow. Well, there’s so many talking points. I could go into
But you know, it’s true at the end of the hour is true. So how, how? How would you say, an entrepreneur, Christian female entrepreneur can hone in on really inner confidence? Because we all know how to gain confidence, right? It’s all over online, you know, exercise more and more water clarity. You know, I mean, all these physical, biological things that we could work to help boost our confidence, but inner confidence, I feel it’s more divine. It’s more, it’s more central.
I love that because I was just gonna say I’m going to blow some of the ladies minds by saying you have nothing to do with your confidence. It’s not about you.
My friend, Carla George with the pushed into purpose podcast, if you’re familiar with her, she’s fabulous. You know, she says God fidence and that’s what it is. Your confidence does not come from you. Real confidence, especially as a Christian fan printer, your confidence comes when you surrender to who you are in Christ. Right? And you’re saying, Yeah, preach it sister, right? I mean, so we’re of like mind on that. So when we read the secular articles about, you know, say 10 times, I am amazing. I am amazing. I am amazing. I mean, I don’t know anybody that that really works for and, you know, I know many coaches who say that and they swear by it, but I purse I know lots of women. And I don’t know one way that works, but
So I, when I say, grow your confidence, I definitely broke it down into four pillars, but the biggest pillar and I’ll explain the pillars, but the first and the biggest pillar is faith. Because that really, I feel like affirmations and all these, you know, wonderful things. That’s just kind of like your your outer layer of confidence, right? That we need to go inside and to go inside you could only go to the one who could be inside which is the Holy Spirit. And so for me Faith is the foundation of your confidence is the gut fidence and stuff like that.
And then that’s my pillar number one and then pillar number two I like to say it’s like some kind of mindset so all about your mindset, your thoughts, right? How to reframe your thoughts, how to be a woman with sound emotions, and just really reframing through all those things. And then we move into environmental stuff like you know, pillar number three, your your health, let’s work with our biology, let’s produce those hormones that you know are make good are our hormones that make us feel good. And then pillar number four is just your environment. You know, I mean, having that environment where you can just come and sit down and have a moment with God without feeling the rush, you know?
I mean, just work with with what you’ve got and stuff. I think having all those four pillars is really I feel good help woman just feel good about themselves, but at the at the core of it, the main one will always be faith.
Mm hmm. Yeah. I mean, I love those four pillars. I hadn’t heard that before. That makes perfect sense. When I think about confidence now I’m 54. And so my looks are not what they used to be even five years ago. So as far as confidence, I know that many women as they age myself included, like I don’t like when I see my wrinkles. I don’t like when my chin is ever sagging. And I joke around about it like I’m going to be a gobble gobble Turkey and a couple of years. But there again, when you start to feel like that ugly duckling, where do you go? Proverbs 31. You know, beauty is fleeting, but real beauty is who you are in Christ. And so again, I’m with you, that has got to be the center. confidence comes from Christ and it’s not about self confidence to me that’s an oxymoron. Because confidence can’t come from you alone. Like you were nothing. And I know to a secular world there’d be like, what are they saying?
Yeah, right. And they’re like, they’re like a manifestation. I can manifest anything. I know people who’ve said they’ve manifested their babies, they’ve manifested a house. No, Jesus Christ did that by His grace.
You know what? So yesterday, I was speaking, I have a coach, I believe that if people want to hire me as a coach, I also need to be you know, coach. Yes, ma’am. So I have a personal coach, and that was telling her, Hey, I’m going through some resistance I want I don’t like and to is because I’m not used to it. And, you know, I mean, and I work through them, but it’s not it’s not a it’s not going away. So that means I need to work through it. But then, I felt like God was telling me I was using too much of the secular world terminology
On this whole thing you were talking about manifesting, you know, I mean, and you hear this a lot like feminine energy, masculine energy, right? The feminine energies like off of flow off with ease, what feels good and, and masculine is very structured, you know, to do lists, strategy, concrete. He goes, but I want you to use my energy, God’s energy, and I was like, ah, I guess I was learned itself. But anyways, like almost like, Oh my gosh, and so it’s like, that’s right. We need you know, instead of focusing on this whole, feel good and structured and strategy, we just need to act by faith and use God’s energy, the Holy Spirit speaking through us to step out boldly in what it is that he has called us to do.
Yeah, because what you said about feelings, the whole feel good feel feelings are such wires and the devil loves to keep us there. I don’t feel I don’t feel pretty enough to do a live today so I’m not doing it. I don’t feel like well, this is mine, I do use this one, I don’t feel like exercising. So I don’t but that’s another thing. But you know, I don’t feel like this powerful leader. So I am not going to step into my, into my role as a leader in my space. And that’s really a shame. And so I firmly believe that when so many of us and I pray, I’m not one, although, you know, I know I’m imperfect. A lot. But you know, my one regret that I don’t want to have is when I meet Jesus, and he says, Look what I had for you, and you just played to spa, you didn’t trust me. And so that plays into just what you’ve said, when we surrender to who he is and who we are in him. The whole world changes. And the people that we impact will multiply like we can’t even imagine.
And I get I totally get that and I had recently told my husband, wherever Jesus, what are we going to say when a B and C but I do want to ask for
The woman who, for Justin caught up and confusion like I don’t know exactly what it is that I’m supposed to be due to do, how would you say? How can they discover God’s purpose for for their life, your purpose. Many years, I was into my 50s, before I landed where I’m in now where I’m very, very confident, but this is exactly all those, you know, all that squiggly line to get me from birth to here, all those like angles and turns, you know, was purposeful, but how I help my clients that really aren’t sure what their unique something is, and what they’re supposed to do in their life. I actually had this whole exercise about finding your unique genius. And I have it in our recent podcast episode, I think it was 35. But really, it begins with sitting quietly before God is saying speak to me, please speak to me. And then if you’re like me, you’re being patient.
If he doesn’t talk to you in that 10 minute span, then you’re already going off on your own. See, because sometimes he’s not going to tell you right away. That was the experience for me. So I just walk and do what I what I felt was right in the moment, like being a lawyer, like opening businesses, and having some success and then having more success and then doing so it’s really just a journey when they say life is a journey and not a destination.
Oh my goodness. So they really just have to be okay with not knowing sometimes until you do hear that quiet voice from God. How do you how do you what do you tell your clients? Well, I think that’s really deep. Um, it’s really deep and it’s right, it really is right? It starts with having the moments with God, how can you discover your purpose if you’re not even spending time with the person that gave you life?
You know what I mean?
You know, a book that really did help me was a Purpose Driven Life. And it just kind of like shows that we all have the same purpose. Like, ultimately we all have the same purpose to expand the kingdom of God to have a relationship with God, you know me to fellowship with others to discipleship, others. Um, and so when I think of purpose, purpose for me, it’s so sound. It’s so sacred, that we don’t have to worry because we all have purpose. I think calling might be something that’s like that’s different for everybody. And what I like to say with Coleen is if you feel that inner pool inside of you, like follow that, because a lot of the times that’s the Holy Spirit trying to pull you call you into something, almost like a calling, and you don’t have to look too hard. Look at your whole entire life. What are the themes of your life?
What do people ask you for? You know what I mean? Just look at the pockets of your life and the testimonies of what God has brought you from,
to know what you what your calling is, you know, and of course, we all have different seasons in our life. But that’s how I like to break that up. Because Because that’s almost like the million dollar question on Google search. On YouTube search.
Yeah, it isn’t a purpose. Mm hmm. I know I heard a pastor years ago talk about, we get so wrapped up in the detail that we miss the ultimate goal, which is to serve him wherever we are. You know, like, I’m a poor girl. And I became this lawyer in Philly, this trial lawyer, working with people that went to Harvard and Yale and I’m like, Who the heck am I didn’t belong there. But yet I was there. And even though I was doing work, I knew I
I knew in my heart that was not what he wanted. For me ultimately, like this was a stepping stone. So I think, to your point, being okay with kind of where you are going, pursuing the opportunities God puts in front of you, but always going to him insane. Is this is this the door you want me to go through? Because sometimes that enemy makes it he does make it confusing sometimes, where it looks like this is the way it should go. But really, maybe there was another way.
So it’s tough. It’s tough. And so to me, you can’t get clarity without the Lord. You’ve got to listen for him.
I’m just gonna drop this right there. You can get clarity without the Lord. That’s like a quote. Yes. And you know what, in life and business, the more I the more I’m a church and, and and God quick into my mind to say, you know what, God, what the pastor just said, for your life. It applies to business. You know, as I see those similarities all the time. So again, this point of clarity, it’s the same. People say, women say, Judy, I’m multi passionate, I don’t know what I should do. You know, I could go this, I could do this, I could do this. I go, you know what, you’ve got to be quiet before the Lord, you need clarity, and you’re not going to get it with your confused mind. You gotta go to Christ, and simplicity, He is a God of order. So go to him. So would you say that’s one of the biggest mistakes you see in in some of the clients and some of the Christian female entrepreneurs out there? Absolutely. There’s, you know, I was just looking at a client’s website last night. And while she has come so far, my thought was, if I came to this, I wasn’t quite sure what her what her main thing is, I wouldn’t know what she’s doing. Because she wants to be all things to all people. So this clarity of your purpose, clarity of how you do what you do, and also you know, as you well know, clarity of who is your ideal client and Hint, Hint
Not everybody. Not everybody. Because if you don’t get that messaging clear, for the one person, you’re meant to serve that ideal client, you’re going to struggle. And that’s what I find with a lot of ladies. Wow. There’s so many golden nuggets in this conversation.
I know God is moving, and I feel it. I’m sure you do through my practice my coaching practice and working with clients in the academy.
I just I feel God is moving mightily. And we know, you know, I was talking to another friend, he said, she said, You know, I really feel that I’ve got to go full in on my business because I feel like Jesus is coming sooner than later. And I don’t want to miss out. And I just applauded her. I’m like, Great, good now sounds like you’re ready to just let him lead and do it afraid. There’s that mantra again, do it afraid.
And at the end of the hour, ladies, listening, just do it. Afraid
Do I also like to say your action will produce the clarity you need? You just keep going and God will reveal it.
what worked and what didn’t work, and there is no such thing as failure only opportunity to learn. Hmm, absolutely. That’s a mic drop moment there.
Can I guess one more thing before we go? And that is some ladies might say, what the heck, we have two business coaches. And they’re on each other’s podcasts, aren’t they? competitors? We kind of touched this on the beginning. But I want to hit this thing head on. So do you want to go first about why is it that we felt that we should do this?
Here’s the thing. There’s so many points, but I think what I’m starting to see is that a lot of women have a beautiful calling to impact the lives of other ladies of people, that they’re so focused on the business
That’s sometimes with somebody who has a same type, same calling as you. Like they’re not open to complementing each other because they’re so focused. It’s like I on my calling, I need to serve. Both. Sometimes God brings in relationships where you are compatible and evenly yoked and even the same calling. So what is it going to do to you? Is it going to bring up insecurities that you need to own up and refrain? And rebuke in Jesus name? Are you going to be accepted and collaborate and have conversations? Are you going to be okay with that other person pouring into you as a matter of fact anybody reporting to you but are you so stuck up in your calling in the assignments that you can’t see that they’re like equally skilled woman just as you doing the same thing you do?
Having different blessings and God’s blessing you. But it’s all about working together. And I think one of the biggest reasons why I started my company, she’s called and confident, to be completely honest because that’s just the way I am.
I was in a very low place in my life. I was, you know, I mean, I had a lot of like different types of hate gossip, like mean girl status, right? That didn’t really feel good to me. And the worst part is that it was coming from believers. And so I didn’t know how, how to go about some of these emotions. But if there’s one thing that was certain is that we need to stop.
There is no competition at all. At all differently unique. And Jean army, we got on a call and we saw that we connected really
You know, God did something special and why not have a good conversation? When we both do the same thing? We’re both talking about confidence. We both are business coaches. But yet we’re very different. God blessed you with your story. God blessed me with my story. Why can’t we just be like sisters in the Lord? Absolutely. Absolutely. And going back to your point about scarcity, neither one of us is concerned, because the ladies that God has already chosen to work with you, is a different bunch of ladies and the ladies that have chosen to work with me. And so for me, I’m really passionate in my faith about unity.
And so, you know, Jesus made a big deal about calling us to unity. And so I could go off on a soapbox about unity and how I don’t like how even in the church were divided by denominations and all these other things that I don’t know. I don’t see denominations in the Bible. Maybe I missed it, but you know, so I’m all about unity. And then when we’re talking about women, empowering women Wow.
I have always been a women’s advocate, maybe because I had a super strong mom who told me I can do anything. And you know, and I just love her. That was such a gift her her biggest gift was introducing me to Christ and her second biggest gift was saying, God Ain’t nothing you can’t do go for it. But when I was in the law, and I was 30, I went to law school later, I had time in between college and law school. And I expected all women to be like me. And that, you know, a woman partner would take me under her wing, and she would show me the ropes and like, lift me up, because that was going to be my plan when I made there, which I never made it fair by my choice. But I got pregnant by God’s God’s grace in my first year as a lawyer, and you know what, I was marked. I was a marked woman.
And there was not I was like taboo, not only by the men who didn’t want there to be like some sort of allegation of sexual whatever. So we had a big they didn’t you know, everybody ignored me. The men didn’t want to touch me, especially especially
pregnant woman Whoo. And then the women were like, how dare she have a baby before she made partner? So I love that I’m seeing that was like the mid 90s Oh, I love how I’m seeing women like you and me saying, Ah, ain’t happening. She is my sister, especially a sister in the Lord. And so I want to lift her up and help her and encourage her and, and move her forward. And I mean that sincerely from my heart. And I know you share that as well. So I’m so excited that we’re able to reach each other’s tribe with our, with our unique voice. So, to me, this is super exciting opportunity.
Absolutely, I agree. And, you know, I think God works in mysterious ways. And I’m happy that he connected me with you. Absolutely. Great. Great. Well, thank you for your time, your Yolonda, this is great. Another great conversation, right. Thank you so much. Thank you for listening. Beautiful. If you like this podcast, I would so appreciate it if you would subscribe and leave a review, in fact, snap a picture of your review before you hit submit. Post it inside my facebook group the plus to thrive community and I will gift you with a one week trial absolutely free inside my best to thrive Academy where ambitious women of faith like you learn how to become thriving FEM printers.
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